Are we really this stupid?

Quite frankly I’m disappointed in this countries short sightedness. I get that we are a live for the moment society where we’re more than willing to spend $150 on a night out with friends, but can’t muster the energy to throw $100 each month into a retirement account. And long term planning isn’t about leaving money for your kids; it’s about eating after you quit working. However, this post isn’t about retirement or financial goals, so I won’t dwell on it. It’s about the stupidity that runs rampant in this great nation of ours and our willingness to consciously overlook the bigger picture if it means we’re right in the present.

Let me first touch on something I really don’t want to spend a lot of time with, but need to address. Guess what people, it’s February. It’s winter in North America. And that means snow. It always has and always will. Now, I get that the snow in D.C. broke a 110 year record, and it’s expected to snow in Hot-lanta and Mobile, Alabama. But all this means is that it’s winter time. This has nothing to do with disproving global warming. Let me say this again, just because it’s snowing record amounts and in place it doesn’t normally happen, does not mean that global warming is false. In fact, it proves it.

These wack-job jaggoffs in D.C. that think they can use the snow as a political tool to shoot down climate bills and “embarrass” the current administration are the same assholes that you voted into office, over and over again. These clowns are exactly what is wrong with our nation’s government and anyone that believes a word this faulkers say is exactly what is wrong with our country.
No, I’m no tree-huggin’, green party, Al Gore worshiping asshole that smoked too much dank in college to know my ass from a hole in the ground, but I do believe that there is this thing called science. And if we take two seconds to understand it, we’ll get what’s going on. And you won’t need a meteorology degree to grasp this…

First, one storm proves nothing. Yes, an extremely rare, intense snowstorm dumped feet on a region that barely gets a dusting. But did you also hear that Vancouver is trucking in and making snow for the winter Olympics? How does that play into you scheme? Or does it not count ‘cause they’re Canadian?

Next, there is this little thing that you may or may not have heard of called…El Niño (Spanish for “the niño). Here’s how this works…the surface of the Pacific Ocean warms up, causing a shift in the jet stream, developing and redirecting winter weather systems south of their typical paths. Now the intensity of this shift and size of the systems it brings increase in direct correlation with the temperature change. Meaning the warmer the surface of the ocean, the more intense the systems are. So, what this means…if we are experiencing a general warming of the earth’s climate, that would mean that the temperature of the Pacific Ocean’s surface would also increase…bringing more intense winter weather to southern regions of the country that don’t typically see more than a light flurry.

look! the northwest is hot while the southeast is cold?

One more time for Glenn Beck…global climate shift (commonly known as global warming) has caused the temperature of the earth’s surface to increase (which includes the Pacific Ocean). The warming of the ocean’s surface has and will always cause a shift in the jet stream which brings winter weather into the United States. The warmer the temperature, the more intense the weather systems…they kind we haven’t seen in 110 years, because our overall global surface temperature has increased to levels never recorded in human history due to…global climate shift (or Global Warming). Taa-Daa!!! This ain’t magic kids, it’s called science! I know you right-wing creationist don’t believe that science exists and that “God” personally controls every single thing that happens on this earth, but that’s just your own insecurities in your ability to make your own decisions and your desire to push the accountability onto something other than yourself.

Tomorrow we discuss the rise and fall of Toyota and why it shouldn’t be a surprise.

-JB

Facebook Fucking

Wow! One of the cardinal sins of Facebook. Facebook Fucking is the digital equivalent of pubic display of affection, commonly called PDA. In this post I will address some of the forms it takes, how to spot it and it's real life equivalent.

#1) The Shameless Lovers
This is the most obvious type to spot. It usually begins with a status update or wall post that goes something like this: Status - "Pauly Shore misses his baby so much! I love you hon!" and is typically followed by the significant others comment: "Whoopi Goldberg: Pauly! I love you too, I can't wait to see you tonight. What do you want for dinner, the same as last night ;-)"
This type of activity is best compared to the couple holding hands at the bookstore, kissing between sentences and gently stroking each others hair. The fact is, we know you're together and don't need it flaunted. The truth is, it's almost acceptable...if you won't be seeing each other for a few days or one of you is on a business trip and been gone a for a while. But the simple fact that you saw one another this morning and will be together again tonight negates every reason for this type of post.

B) The Passive Aggressive Infatuation or Puppy Love
Subtle comments hidden behind a veil of mystery. Was she talking to/about me? Not sure, I'm going to comment and see what she says back! Sounds something like this: "Marla Thomson is so happy! I'm so glad my life is so good!" A typical follow up comment would go as follows: "Deshaun Johnson: Babe, you've made me happy too. I love you so much." The best comparison is to the couple you see out with friends that are talking baby talk to each other, and constantly giving little kisses. The real life version says things like "Can I have a kissy poo?" "No...yes!" "Oh I love you, you're so cute."
More than likely this couple just started dating, if they haven't then they need a serious kick to the head. More annoying than gross, but unacceptable none the less.

#69 The Porn Star!!
These people have always been a little out there. Not afraid to let the world know their business. Usually goes like this: "Adam Lambert is crazy horny and will be hurrying home!" Replies as follows "Simon Cowell: Oh John, this little boy toy of yours is impatiently waiting your stunning performance."
Now this real life couple are very easy to spot. They'll be playing tonsil hockey at the coffee house or rubbing each others legs at the dinner table and maybe groping on the dance floor at your second cousins wedding. People, your aunt and little cousin are on Facebook now, it's just wrong on so many levels.

Q) The Kiss and Make Up
Commonly seen in real life vocally fighting at the grocery store, only to make up and get all cutesy. "Natalie Maines is so pissed!! He was actually checking out the cashier and flirting with her! Helloooo, I'm right here asshole!!" "Toby Keith: big pappa's sorry sweetheart. The girl ain't got nothin' on my sugar plum. Come on home and I'll give you a big ole kiss." "Natalie Maines: I'm sorry love, I overreacted. I know you love me! Make up tonight? :-)"
Now these people need to learn where to draw the line, I don't care about your fight, I don't give a shit that he thinks someone is hot and you busted him. Duke it out at home, alone, in private. It ain't my business and I don't care.

Lastly - The Lone Wolf
This poor soul doesn't get it. Comments come out of the blue and are rarely, it ever replied too. Many times they just get ignored with hopes the Facebook fairy deletes them accidentally. You'll see this happening: "Al Gore is so glad that Project Environmental Rescue Act 1992 passed unanimously in the House. Now on to the Senate. Hope this regressive president doesn't veto it...AGAIN!" "Monica Lewinski:Alan darling, you're too cute. I'm proud of you and I love you! And not like I loved the Governor I interned with, I mean deeply in love with you."
When he doesn't reply, he's guaranteed to get the obligatory question "Did you see, I commented on you status today?" his response is typically "Yeah, I was busy though". But the constant ignoring doesn't stop here. In fact the next day he says, "Al Gore will run for president some day or maybe write a book about saving the planet. Not sure where I'll have a bigger impact." And yet again she comments "Monica Lewinski: You're so good at everything you do. I'm so happy to be with you Alan." This will continue until he gives in and blocks her from posting comments.
The real life version can be seen riding the bus together. One half is reading a book while the other is gabbing and gabbing and giving pecks on the cheek between paragraphs.

I hope this clarifies a dire situation we face in our digital society amongst our 359 best friends. When you see these actions take place, it's best to just delete these people from your Live Feed. We all know these people, consider yourself warned!! Jus Sayin'!

-JB

Faith and Whiskey

No this post is not about me turning to God to keep me off the booze. So don't close this thinking I'm gonna start preaching about forgivness and turning to Jesus then ask for money. This is going to be an update on my progress of staying sober for financial reasons...

So, last Thursday I got out of work during what was probably one on the most stressful weeks I've had in my life. And I said to myself, "Self, I know you're trying to save money and I know most your spending reviolves around alcohol, but I think a beer and a burger at a local establishment might do you some good." Well, not being one to ignore my own advice, I jumped on the train and headed to McDunna's. Upon my arrival I realized I was one of 3 people in the entire bar. So I sat down and ordered a Guinness. (seen here)



After that one, well, I thought when my food gets here, I'll have one with the burger. I mean, who in their right mind doesnt was a burger with their beer? (This is the second one)



Ok, so now I'm two beers and one burger down. And the bartender says, "One more before you go?". Not this guys been good, had some conversation as a good barkeep should, so why the hell not? (You can see number three being poured in the background)



Now, I'm three guinness in...and the table next to me seems like good conversation. So I pull up a chair. The three of us start debating about the best shots. They're partial to the "Lunchbox" I like tequila, whiskey and Jagerbombs. So we have one of each and continue to debate the topic. At this point I call in an expert witness, we'll call him Dan (because thats his name). So Dan arrives and quickly reminds me that my favorite bar in the city, Faith and Whiskey (OHHHHH THAT EXPLAINS THE TITLE!!!) has $1 domestic bottles and...wait for it...LIVE BAND KARAOKE!!! Oh, and it's right next to McDunna's...go figure.

So I down two of these, to bring out the rock star of course...



And we head to Faith and Whiskey. Where I proceed to spend $15 on dollar beers, but hey I saved money. And jammed to some REO Speedwagon's Keep on Lovin' You!!

Seen here...



And woke up feeling like this guy...



So, needless to say, Faith and Whiskey is still hands down no questions asked my favorite bar. And I need a different approach to saving money by not drinking.

-JB

Day #4

So, day four was the hardest so far. I'm sure it will only get worse. I came home from work and opened the fridge to grab a bite to eat and all I noticed was a bottle of Bailey's. I ran to the grocery store to grab stuff for lunch and coincedentally the sandwich stuff is across the way from the booze section.

This is where I start to ask myself why I'm doing this cold turkey. Why not just tone it down a bit? That's a good question that I really don't have an answer to. Tonight is going to be a big challenge, I have a networking event to attend!

Day #3...

No booze on day two, and no tremors or signs of withdrawal. Although I did have a Gatorade, two pops, 7 cups of coffee and 12oz of DayQuil...oh, almost forgot to ask, does the alcohol content of NyQuil count against me?

Well, that went well...

Yeah...so I had two drinks last night saying farewell to a dear friend. And on to day two of my attempt at being sober!!

It's really easy, you know. I go out with a friend to say goodbye and grab a burger and he comes back with a vodka lemonaide for me. I can't say no! This is the goodbye dinner...WTF? So I only had 2. I figure that's a lot better than what I would have done before.

Sorta Sober

Not really sure how to say this, but I think I'm gonna take it easy on the booze for a few weeks. I know what you're saying..."this will never last, why bother?"..."Dude, your blog is called 'Where's my beer?' and you usually write drunk? I'm confused." Well my reasons are stricly financially driven. I don't have a drinking problem, and I have never really let my drinking interfere with my work. Yeah, I probably carry an extra 10 pounds for all the beer I drink, but I'm ok with that if I can go out and get drunk ever now and then. But an empty bank account is worse than an empty pitcher.

So, this is how I see this going. I am going dry for 3 weeks. Starting today, January 17th, 2010 until February 7th I will not have any alcohol. At that point I am going to slowly reintroduce myself to booze. I will continue to go out, but I will take a lesson from Chad Ochocinco and drink cranberry juice or tonic with a lime so it looks like I'm drinking.

This way I can still go out and have fun and be with my friends in the scene, but it will cost me 1/4th the amount of money. Instead of $8 for a vodka tonic it will cost $2 for a juice or a pop.

I will continue to update the blog with great stories of my drunk friends and my sobriety and the challenges of not drinking...

Wish me luck!!