Fuck You Chuck Norris...

YES, I JUST SAID THAT! It's not even funny this time, I'm serious. I know, I know he's supposedly the like ohhh so cool tough guy. Can I say this though: he recently wrote a letter to congress outlining a plan to lower gas use and cost. All of this shortly after he appered in an ad for the Honda Ridgeline...a PICKUP TRUCK! hmmm...I think I will save gas and FIX THE AMERICAN ECONOMY, but be the spokesperson for a foreign automaker's truck. Wow, Mr. America, Mr. Ass Kicker, WALKER TEXAS RANGER, thinks that by reducing our consumption of oil as we drive our japanese pickup truck, we can rebuild our AMERICAN economy.

Ok, I am too damn pissed about that to keep on it. AHHHHHHH! I'm better now, not really, but I can pretend. Something I have been meaning to write about, but keep forgetting...

The Green Movement

Now, I am all for "Going Green", but really going green, not the oh so trendy drive a hybrid and buy funky new light bulbs so people see me go green, going green. I mean really going green, only drive when necessary, shop local, bring a cloth bag to the grocery store, power down your house 2 hours a week, shower with a friend. But as I adjust my lifestyle to conserve and protect our environment I have found many contradictions in the movement and here they are:

1) Alternative Fuel - ok, I am part of a select few that have the opportunity to walk to work. Many of us do not have a choice but to buy $4+ dollar gas. For those people we need to find an alternative to gas. But is a hybrid, which cost more than a traditional car, still uses gas, and has a HUGE unrecycleable battery really going to save the planet? Especially if it is a Hybrid SUV! That's an oxymoron if I have ever heard one...a hybrid that gets 25 miles to the gallon because it weighs 5000 lbs? If we are going to find alternatives to oil consumtion (as it nears $140 a barrel) we need to focus less on hybrid technology and more on using hydrogen or solar power to "fuel" our transportation.

2) Reducing Electricity Consumption - The new light bulbs use less electricity. But if we continue to leave the lights on...we are still using energy. Even if you don't live in a city you have seen it, it's 11pm and you drive by a building, no one is there, the building is empty, but there are countless office windows lit up. Maybe they have low energy bulbs, but they're still on for nothing. Turn 'em off, they actually have these things called motion sensors that control lights and turn them on when you enter a room and turn them off when there is no one there. Even if you have a cleaning crew...

3) Green Movement Fliers - this is a real hot topic with me. You see this A LOT in the city...Greenpeace, The Illinois Environmental somebodies, The Global Warming Fighter People, The Film Actors Guilde...all on the street corner handing out fliers about saving the world...98% of which are eventually thrown into the trash can and not recycled. Even if they are printed on recycled paper with soy ink the trash is the trash and most of it goes to a landfill. But, hey, they're creating awareness. I'm sorry, did I miss something, is there a global environmental crisis going on? I had no idea! Thank you for printing something on paper so I could hear about it.

On a lighter note, I...um...well...I started a...well you know...a Facebook profile. FOR YOUR INFORMATION...my wife made me do it. And damn it made me feel old. I don't know why really, but it did.

This has been an alcohol fueled rant solving the worlds problems one at a time.