Ok, those of you that know me well, know that I am a very upbeat positive person. Yes, I go on rants and I can get a bit grumpy, but for the most part I am a happy person. I wanted to approach this post from that root happy person, but I couldn't figure out how. I thought I would write about the reasons I love the city and the country, but that approach really fell short of the point i was trying to make. And in the end I realized I just could not come up with any way to do this other than the way it ended up...
WHY I HATE THE SUBURBS!!
1) Sidewalks - A pretty simple concept. A strip of pavement along the side of the road that people can...get this...walk on. Now I know that everyone that lives in the 'burbs has lost use of their legs from countless hours sitting in a cubicle and driving their SUVs to the Starbucks down the street, but it's anti-human. You don't even have the option to walk, run, or ride anywhere if you wanted too. Well, I guess you can, but with all the SUVs flying around, you might not want to run along the shoulder of the road.
2) "Food" Culture - I think it's about time the Mexican government sends a delegation of food critics to the US to review our "Mexican" restaurants. Ladies and gentlemen, nachos are not Mexican food. Qudoba, Taco Bell, Taco Fresco, Cancun and most other restaurants serving Mexican food would be shut down immediately. People, putting sour cream and yellow cheese on a taco or gordita in Mexico is as shameful as putting ketchup on a hot dog in Chicago, or mayo on a hamburger in Detroit. You just don't do it. In the land of bland, people really believe Olive Garden, Chi-Chi's, Outback and P.F.Changs are fine ethnic dining. No personality, no creativity, cookie cutter recipes served in branded restaurants that are duplicated a million times a week all across the country.
3) Conformity - Everything looks the same, across nearly every American suburb. In fact, I bet that if I blindfolded you, knocked you out and drove for a really really long time then pulled off the highway into any given suburb, you'd never know where we were. Typical first mile off the highway in sub-urban America contains 2-5 fast food restaurants, maybe a Cracker Barrell, at least 4 car dealerships, 3 gas stations and a "big box" store (Home Depot, Lowes, Wal-mart). Then you've got "The Mall": Abercrombie & Fitch, two Victoria's Secret's, kiosks sell crap we don't need, the Disney Store, Foot Locker, The Gap, Lids, Bath & Body Works, Sharper Image and many more. All anchored by a food court, Nordstrom, JC Penny's and a Macy's. All selling pretty much the same overpriced, made in China clothing. Now that we've made it about 3 miles into this cozy little sub-urban town we start to see the sub-divisions. A place where people live in their own mass produced 4 bedroom house, with their nice two car garage and their white picket fence. Only they need to follow the associations rules...no trees taller than X, no fences in the front yard, only mow your lawn on Tuesday, Friday or Sunday if your address ends in an odd number, don't water your lawn on the third friday of every month. Yes, each house looks a little different, but you can't just paint it any color you want without the association or township telling you that you're a freak and need to change it. And each sub-division has it's own style of houses that you need to select yours from. No wonder people buy boats and cars they can't afford and force their kids to play sports they're not good at...they need to find a way to separate themselves from all the other cult members.
Now you're probably saying "Yeah, the city's got all this stuff. But the country doesn't even come close to any of this."
You're right, which makes the middle of nowhere the best place to live. Your way, your pace. Simple.
-JB
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lists. Show all posts
Friday, May 21, 2010
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Shit we don't need.
Ok, so my last few posts have been a bit deeper than I normally get, for good reason. My mood has been a bit off and unlike many, I don't drink when I get down; I get pensive. My posts become introspective. However, as a generally happy individual with three major stress points in my life, I am in a stellar mood today. No, it's not the "holiday", my mood is rooted in the fact that I am a happy person, and I am really working on changing the things in my life that don't work. And working toward fixing things makes me happy. So since I am in a good mood, I had a few whiskey's before dinner...
I want to parlay this post off my previous, more serious conversation. I spoke a lot about minimalizing my life and reducing the clutter; I think the work I created was, 'Decluterfy'. Reducing the stuff that wastes physical, emotional and mental space in my life. Tonight I want to look at the things that we really don't need as a society and culture.
1) Pages Intentionally Left Blank: We've all seen it, you're scrolling through a document, page after page of .pdf and out of nowhere, mid-document there it is. Page 34 of 76, it declares in bold capital letters..."THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK. On some level I get it, you wanted to insert a blank page for some unknown reason, but didn't want the reader to think they were missing anything. But the damn page is not blank!!! In fact it's nothing more than a lie!!! It was intentionally printed on. Either leave the damn thing out or put THIS PAGE INCLUDES NO RELEVANT INFORMATION FOR A REASON. Or, just don't waste my f'ing paper and printer ink.
2) ATM Fee Notification: How many times a month do you go to an ATM? 3, 4, 10? I know I use the thing at least once a week. And for probably 10 years now every single time I used an ATM I was charged a fee. And every time I go to an ATM I am asked if I approve of the fee. NO, I DON'T APPROVE OF THE FEE...but for crying out loud, I know it's coming. I know you are going to charge me $3 (the price of a bottle of Charles Shaw Red Wine or two cans of PBR at the Rail). Quit wasting my precious seconds by asking me if it's ok to charge me. Am I at an ATM? As a salesman, I think it would be a better tactic to notify me when you WEREN'T charging me a fee. Then I might actually consider switching to your bank.
3)Surgeon General Warnings: Ok, found on cigarettes and booze. All I really need to say is, "If you can't tell that the cigarettes you are smoking have had a negative impact on you ability to BREATHE, than maybe you deserve to die of lung cancer". It was different in the early days; in the 40's and 50's 9 out of 10 doctors smoked Camel Brand. It was a healthy, social thing to do. The WWII and early boomers were taught it was safe and socially acceptable to smoke. IF YOU STILL BELIEVE THERE ARE NO NEGATIVE EFFECTS TO CIGARETTE SMOKE YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET!!!!! And there are enough products out there, that cost the same or less than cigs, to aide quitting. If you really want to quit the little warning label won't help, nor will it deter future smokers.
4) The Chia Pet: If you want a plant, get a plant. If you want a statue, buy a statue. You have room for both.
5) The Clapper: No...not the Clap. If you want the lights off, get your lazy ass out of be and turn off the damn lights. Quit being lazy.
6) Bottled Water: Ok, aside from the environmental impact of buying bottled water there is the personal financial effect. Turn on the tap...even if you pay for city water it's going to cost you 90% less than buying your water at the store. Get over the "taste". You should drink 64 ounces of water per day minimum; that translates to nearly $12 per day if you buy bottled water. Even if you paid $100 per month for your home water bill (which is ridiculously high) you're still about $200 less than you'd pay to drink 64 ounces of bottled water per day over the course of a month.
This list could go on forever, but I'm going to stop here because, well, that's all I have tonight.
-JB
I want to parlay this post off my previous, more serious conversation. I spoke a lot about minimalizing my life and reducing the clutter; I think the work I created was, 'Decluterfy'. Reducing the stuff that wastes physical, emotional and mental space in my life. Tonight I want to look at the things that we really don't need as a society and culture.
1) Pages Intentionally Left Blank: We've all seen it, you're scrolling through a document, page after page of .pdf and out of nowhere, mid-document there it is. Page 34 of 76, it declares in bold capital letters..."THIS PAGE INTENTIONALLY LEFT BLANK. On some level I get it, you wanted to insert a blank page for some unknown reason, but didn't want the reader to think they were missing anything. But the damn page is not blank!!! In fact it's nothing more than a lie!!! It was intentionally printed on. Either leave the damn thing out or put THIS PAGE INCLUDES NO RELEVANT INFORMATION FOR A REASON. Or, just don't waste my f'ing paper and printer ink.
2) ATM Fee Notification: How many times a month do you go to an ATM? 3, 4, 10? I know I use the thing at least once a week. And for probably 10 years now every single time I used an ATM I was charged a fee. And every time I go to an ATM I am asked if I approve of the fee. NO, I DON'T APPROVE OF THE FEE...but for crying out loud, I know it's coming. I know you are going to charge me $3 (the price of a bottle of Charles Shaw Red Wine or two cans of PBR at the Rail). Quit wasting my precious seconds by asking me if it's ok to charge me. Am I at an ATM? As a salesman, I think it would be a better tactic to notify me when you WEREN'T charging me a fee. Then I might actually consider switching to your bank.
3)Surgeon General Warnings: Ok, found on cigarettes and booze. All I really need to say is, "If you can't tell that the cigarettes you are smoking have had a negative impact on you ability to BREATHE, than maybe you deserve to die of lung cancer". It was different in the early days; in the 40's and 50's 9 out of 10 doctors smoked Camel Brand. It was a healthy, social thing to do. The WWII and early boomers were taught it was safe and socially acceptable to smoke. IF YOU STILL BELIEVE THERE ARE NO NEGATIVE EFFECTS TO CIGARETTE SMOKE YOU DESERVE WHAT YOU GET!!!!! And there are enough products out there, that cost the same or less than cigs, to aide quitting. If you really want to quit the little warning label won't help, nor will it deter future smokers.
4) The Chia Pet: If you want a plant, get a plant. If you want a statue, buy a statue. You have room for both.
5) The Clapper: No...not the Clap. If you want the lights off, get your lazy ass out of be and turn off the damn lights. Quit being lazy.
6) Bottled Water: Ok, aside from the environmental impact of buying bottled water there is the personal financial effect. Turn on the tap...even if you pay for city water it's going to cost you 90% less than buying your water at the store. Get over the "taste". You should drink 64 ounces of water per day minimum; that translates to nearly $12 per day if you buy bottled water. Even if you paid $100 per month for your home water bill (which is ridiculously high) you're still about $200 less than you'd pay to drink 64 ounces of bottled water per day over the course of a month.
This list could go on forever, but I'm going to stop here because, well, that's all I have tonight.
-JB
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Memoirs & Tell Alls
This is the kinda stuff that goes through my head when I stay up until 4 am on a Tuesday night and need to get up at 6 to get ready for work...I started thinking about funny titles famous people could use if they wrote memoirs and tell alls. I warn you that some of them are really dumb, but remember I came up with them after only 2 hours of sleep in the last 42 hours.
1) "My Life with B.O.: A Memoir" by Michelle Obama
2) "It's Only Got One 'L', Assholle!" by Dalai Lama
3) "I Was Famous??" by Lindsay Lohan
4) "He was an Oops Baby." by George Herbert Walker Bush
5) "Oh Shit" by Pontius Pilate
6) "Serial Killers and Catcher: Why I Became a Recluse" by J.D. Salinger
7) "Hot Steamy Night with Dick...Cheney" by Glenn Beck
8) "Why I Lost in Russia" by Napoleon
9) "Why I Lost in Russia" by Hitler
10) "I Made Russia Look Like Assholes & Something About Marlyn Monroe" by John F Kennedy
1) "My Life with B.O.: A Memoir" by Michelle Obama
2) "It's Only Got One 'L', Assholle!" by Dalai Lama
3) "I Was Famous??" by Lindsay Lohan
4) "He was an Oops Baby." by George Herbert Walker Bush
5) "Oh Shit" by Pontius Pilate
6) "Serial Killers and Catcher: Why I Became a Recluse" by J.D. Salinger
7) "Hot Steamy Night with Dick...Cheney" by Glenn Beck
8) "Why I Lost in Russia" by Napoleon
9) "Why I Lost in Russia" by Hitler
10) "I Made Russia Look Like Assholes & Something About Marlyn Monroe" by John F Kennedy
11) "Booze, Coke, Hookers & Taking Shit Over" by Moammar Kadafi, forward by Steven Tyler
12) "How Many Times Can I Confess?" by Joran van der Sloot
13) "Hey, Guess What!" by Bernie Madoff
14) "Really? Are You Kidding Me? You Didn't Know?" by Liberace
15) "Life After Brynn" by Phil Hartman
Any of these would be at least an interesting read. I need to start sleeping...
-JB
12) "How Many Times Can I Confess?" by Joran van der Sloot
13) "Hey, Guess What!" by Bernie Madoff
14) "Really? Are You Kidding Me? You Didn't Know?" by Liberace
15) "Life After Brynn" by Phil Hartman
Any of these would be at least an interesting read. I need to start sleeping...
-JB
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Facebook Fucking
Wow! One of the cardinal sins of Facebook. Facebook Fucking is the digital equivalent of pubic display of affection, commonly called PDA. In this post I will address some of the forms it takes, how to spot it and it's real life equivalent.
#1) The Shameless Lovers
This is the most obvious type to spot. It usually begins with a status update or wall post that goes something like this: Status - "Pauly Shore misses his baby so much! I love you hon!" and is typically followed by the significant others comment: "Whoopi Goldberg: Pauly! I love you too, I can't wait to see you tonight. What do you want for dinner, the same as last night ;-)"
This type of activity is best compared to the couple holding hands at the bookstore, kissing between sentences and gently stroking each others hair. The fact is, we know you're together and don't need it flaunted. The truth is, it's almost acceptable...if you won't be seeing each other for a few days or one of you is on a business trip and been gone a for a while. But the simple fact that you saw one another this morning and will be together again tonight negates every reason for this type of post.
B) The Passive Aggressive Infatuation or Puppy Love
Subtle comments hidden behind a veil of mystery. Was she talking to/about me? Not sure, I'm going to comment and see what she says back! Sounds something like this: "Marla Thomson is so happy! I'm so glad my life is so good!" A typical follow up comment would go as follows: "Deshaun Johnson: Babe, you've made me happy too. I love you so much." The best comparison is to the couple you see out with friends that are talking baby talk to each other, and constantly giving little kisses. The real life version says things like "Can I have a kissy poo?" "No...yes!" "Oh I love you, you're so cute."
More than likely this couple just started dating, if they haven't then they need a serious kick to the head. More annoying than gross, but unacceptable none the less.
#69 The Porn Star!!
These people have always been a little out there. Not afraid to let the world know their business. Usually goes like this: "Adam Lambert is crazy horny and will be hurrying home!" Replies as follows "Simon Cowell: Oh John, this little boy toy of yours is impatiently waiting your stunning performance."
Now this real life couple are very easy to spot. They'll be playing tonsil hockey at the coffee house or rubbing each others legs at the dinner table and maybe groping on the dance floor at your second cousins wedding. People, your aunt and little cousin are on Facebook now, it's just wrong on so many levels.
Q) The Kiss and Make Up
Commonly seen in real life vocally fighting at the grocery store, only to make up and get all cutesy. "Natalie Maines is so pissed!! He was actually checking out the cashier and flirting with her! Helloooo, I'm right here asshole!!" "Toby Keith: big pappa's sorry sweetheart. The girl ain't got nothin' on my sugar plum. Come on home and I'll give you a big ole kiss." "Natalie Maines: I'm sorry love, I overreacted. I know you love me! Make up tonight? :-)"
Now these people need to learn where to draw the line, I don't care about your fight, I don't give a shit that he thinks someone is hot and you busted him. Duke it out at home, alone, in private. It ain't my business and I don't care.
Lastly - The Lone Wolf
This poor soul doesn't get it. Comments come out of the blue and are rarely, it ever replied too. Many times they just get ignored with hopes the Facebook fairy deletes them accidentally. You'll see this happening: "Al Gore is so glad that Project Environmental Rescue Act 1992 passed unanimously in the House. Now on to the Senate. Hope this regressive president doesn't veto it...AGAIN!" "Monica Lewinski:Alan darling, you're too cute. I'm proud of you and I love you! And not like I loved the Governor I interned with, I mean deeply in love with you."
When he doesn't reply, he's guaranteed to get the obligatory question "Did you see, I commented on you status today?" his response is typically "Yeah, I was busy though". But the constant ignoring doesn't stop here. In fact the next day he says, "Al Gore will run for president some day or maybe write a book about saving the planet. Not sure where I'll have a bigger impact." And yet again she comments "Monica Lewinski: You're so good at everything you do. I'm so happy to be with you Alan." This will continue until he gives in and blocks her from posting comments.
The real life version can be seen riding the bus together. One half is reading a book while the other is gabbing and gabbing and giving pecks on the cheek between paragraphs.
I hope this clarifies a dire situation we face in our digital society amongst our 359 best friends. When you see these actions take place, it's best to just delete these people from your Live Feed. We all know these people, consider yourself warned!! Jus Sayin'!
-JB
#1) The Shameless Lovers
This is the most obvious type to spot. It usually begins with a status update or wall post that goes something like this: Status - "Pauly Shore misses his baby so much! I love you hon!" and is typically followed by the significant others comment: "Whoopi Goldberg: Pauly! I love you too, I can't wait to see you tonight. What do you want for dinner, the same as last night ;-)"
This type of activity is best compared to the couple holding hands at the bookstore, kissing between sentences and gently stroking each others hair. The fact is, we know you're together and don't need it flaunted. The truth is, it's almost acceptable...if you won't be seeing each other for a few days or one of you is on a business trip and been gone a for a while. But the simple fact that you saw one another this morning and will be together again tonight negates every reason for this type of post.
B) The Passive Aggressive Infatuation or Puppy Love
Subtle comments hidden behind a veil of mystery. Was she talking to/about me? Not sure, I'm going to comment and see what she says back! Sounds something like this: "Marla Thomson is so happy! I'm so glad my life is so good!" A typical follow up comment would go as follows: "Deshaun Johnson: Babe, you've made me happy too. I love you so much." The best comparison is to the couple you see out with friends that are talking baby talk to each other, and constantly giving little kisses. The real life version says things like "Can I have a kissy poo?" "No...yes!" "Oh I love you, you're so cute."
More than likely this couple just started dating, if they haven't then they need a serious kick to the head. More annoying than gross, but unacceptable none the less.
#69 The Porn Star!!
These people have always been a little out there. Not afraid to let the world know their business. Usually goes like this: "Adam Lambert is crazy horny and will be hurrying home!" Replies as follows "Simon Cowell: Oh John, this little boy toy of yours is impatiently waiting your stunning performance."
Now this real life couple are very easy to spot. They'll be playing tonsil hockey at the coffee house or rubbing each others legs at the dinner table and maybe groping on the dance floor at your second cousins wedding. People, your aunt and little cousin are on Facebook now, it's just wrong on so many levels.
Q) The Kiss and Make Up
Commonly seen in real life vocally fighting at the grocery store, only to make up and get all cutesy. "Natalie Maines is so pissed!! He was actually checking out the cashier and flirting with her! Helloooo, I'm right here asshole!!" "Toby Keith: big pappa's sorry sweetheart. The girl ain't got nothin' on my sugar plum. Come on home and I'll give you a big ole kiss." "Natalie Maines: I'm sorry love, I overreacted. I know you love me! Make up tonight? :-)"
Now these people need to learn where to draw the line, I don't care about your fight, I don't give a shit that he thinks someone is hot and you busted him. Duke it out at home, alone, in private. It ain't my business and I don't care.
Lastly - The Lone Wolf
This poor soul doesn't get it. Comments come out of the blue and are rarely, it ever replied too. Many times they just get ignored with hopes the Facebook fairy deletes them accidentally. You'll see this happening: "Al Gore is so glad that Project Environmental Rescue Act 1992 passed unanimously in the House. Now on to the Senate. Hope this regressive president doesn't veto it...AGAIN!" "Monica Lewinski:Alan darling, you're too cute. I'm proud of you and I love you! And not like I loved the Governor I interned with, I mean deeply in love with you."
When he doesn't reply, he's guaranteed to get the obligatory question "Did you see, I commented on you status today?" his response is typically "Yeah, I was busy though". But the constant ignoring doesn't stop here. In fact the next day he says, "Al Gore will run for president some day or maybe write a book about saving the planet. Not sure where I'll have a bigger impact." And yet again she comments "Monica Lewinski: You're so good at everything you do. I'm so happy to be with you Alan." This will continue until he gives in and blocks her from posting comments.
The real life version can be seen riding the bus together. One half is reading a book while the other is gabbing and gabbing and giving pecks on the cheek between paragraphs.
I hope this clarifies a dire situation we face in our digital society amongst our 359 best friends. When you see these actions take place, it's best to just delete these people from your Live Feed. We all know these people, consider yourself warned!! Jus Sayin'!
-JB
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
September 1
So in a few hours, this planet will have been graced with my presence for 29 years! So I thought I would take a moment to address a few other prominent anniversaries for September 1st, so I looked up "This Date in History" stuff and was sorely disappointed. I was really only able to find a few historically significant events:
1 - In 1939 Nazi Germany attacks Poland, beginning the war in Europe.
Not really an event you want to be associated with, however historically significant this event may have been. World War II changed the future in more ways than we will ever really know.
2 - In 1974 the SR-71 Blackbird sets the record for flying from New York to London: 1 hour 54 minutes and 56.4 seconds.
Now this one is frickin' AWESOME!!! 1974 also marks the end of American muscle cars. The SD-455 was silenced and the raw power this engine produced would never be replicated. And yet, it was replaced in the air by this beast of a spy plane that any kid would have killed to fly. In the amount of time the average American spends commuting each day this plane can FLY TO EUROPE...wrap you head around that shit.
3 - In 1969 a revolution in Libya brings Col. Muammar al-fuckin'-Gaddafi to power.
The frickin' RockStar of North Africa has on many occasions told neighboring nations that he owned them (typically after a week long benders with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad). In fact this year is the 40th anniversary of this event!
I also wanted to give you a few historical and famous people I share my birthday with...
1818 – José María Castro Madriz, first President of Costa Rica and founder of the republic
The man invented Costa Rica for cryin' out loud, how cool was he?!
1923 – Rocco Francis Marchegiano (better know as Rocky Marciano), American boxer (d. 1969)
Only the toughest guy ever! 49-0, 43 by knock out. And get this...he died the night of August 31, 1969. On the eve of his 46th birthday and the Libyan revolution.
1939 – Lily Tomlin, American actress and comedian
Ugg.
1950 – Dr. Phil McGraw, American talk show host
DAMN IT!
1968 – Mohammed Atta, Egyptian terrorist
Fuck.
1976 – Marcos Ambrose, Australian racing driver
He's cool
1976 – Jada Fire, American porn actress
SWEET!
1976 – Polly Shannon, Canadian actress
The long lost cousin of Molly Shannon an American actress
1981 – Clinton Portis, American football player
Some other things I can claim "relation" to, Uzbekistani Independence Day, the first day of spring in Australia, and the Eastern Orthodox Church new year!
So basically, my birthday sucks...Happy Birthday to me (and Rocky Frickin' Marciano).
1 - In 1939 Nazi Germany attacks Poland, beginning the war in Europe.
Not really an event you want to be associated with, however historically significant this event may have been. World War II changed the future in more ways than we will ever really know.
2 - In 1974 the SR-71 Blackbird sets the record for flying from New York to London: 1 hour 54 minutes and 56.4 seconds.
Now this one is frickin' AWESOME!!! 1974 also marks the end of American muscle cars. The SD-455 was silenced and the raw power this engine produced would never be replicated. And yet, it was replaced in the air by this beast of a spy plane that any kid would have killed to fly. In the amount of time the average American spends commuting each day this plane can FLY TO EUROPE...wrap you head around that shit.
3 - In 1969 a revolution in Libya brings Col. Muammar al-fuckin'-Gaddafi to power.
The frickin' RockStar of North Africa has on many occasions told neighboring nations that he owned them (typically after a week long benders with Mahmoud Ahmadinejad). In fact this year is the 40th anniversary of this event!
I also wanted to give you a few historical and famous people I share my birthday with...
1818 – José María Castro Madriz, first President of Costa Rica and founder of the republic
The man invented Costa Rica for cryin' out loud, how cool was he?!
1923 – Rocco Francis Marchegiano (better know as Rocky Marciano), American boxer (d. 1969)
Only the toughest guy ever! 49-0, 43 by knock out. And get this...he died the night of August 31, 1969. On the eve of his 46th birthday and the Libyan revolution.
1939 – Lily Tomlin, American actress and comedian
Ugg.
1950 – Dr. Phil McGraw, American talk show host
DAMN IT!
1968 – Mohammed Atta, Egyptian terrorist
Fuck.
1976 – Marcos Ambrose, Australian racing driver
He's cool
1976 – Jada Fire, American porn actress
SWEET!
1976 – Polly Shannon, Canadian actress
The long lost cousin of Molly Shannon an American actress
1981 – Clinton Portis, American football player
Some other things I can claim "relation" to, Uzbekistani Independence Day, the first day of spring in Australia, and the Eastern Orthodox Church new year!
So basically, my birthday sucks...Happy Birthday to me (and Rocky Frickin' Marciano).
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
50 Reasons...
Not that I'm complaining, but the following is a list of 50 reasons I am actively looking for a new job. All numbers are based on data from CNNMoney.com for positions requiring 4 years or less experience (some require special training but none more than a Bachelors Degree) in my local area. All pay more than I make...
1) Associate Pastor - $67,499
2) Bricklayer - $49,285
3) Custodial Manager - $48,829
4) Volunteer Coordinator - $42,745
5) Warehouse Supervisor - $55,868
6) Campus Recreation Director - $67,026
7) Assistant Coach Minor Sport - $41,505
8) Estimating Manager - $65,686
9) E/L Accountant - $ 45,329
10) E/L Architect - $42,684
11) E/L Budget Analyst - $52,674
12) Business Banking Development Officer - $60,042($52,385 low)*
13) Call Center Quality Analyst - $41,839
14) E/L Compensation Analyst - $54,292
15) Consumer Credit Analyst - $43,578
16) E/L Copy Writer - $44,602
17) Correctional Officer - $42,952
18) Chicago Police Officer - $58,896 (after 18 mths)**
19) Documentation Clerk - $40,287
20) E/L Electrician - $45,594
21) Employee Relocation Rep - $48,192
22) Field Auditor - $54,393
23) Financial Associate, Corporate - $61,042
24) Health and Safety Administrator - $59,494
25) Interior Designer - $41,044
26) Logistics Clerk - $42,407
27) Metallurgical Engineer - $58,608
28) Meter Reader - $45,306
29) Procedures Analyst - $49,327
30) Pipeline Technician - $62,788
31) Press Operator - $46,255
32) Recruiter - $45,987
33) Retail Store Management Trainee - $41,962
34) Sales Analyst - $49,707
35) SBA Business Development Officer - $74,340
36) Travel Clerk - $43,637
37) Fire Fighter - $44,053
38) Automobile Estimator - $43,045
39) Administrative Services Supervisor - $59,059
40) Archivist - $45,799
41) Campus Recruiter - $61,339
42) Executive Assistant - $53,248
43) Meeting/Event Assistant - $47,021
44) Translator - $48,571
45) Actor - $53,257
46) Broadcast Technician - $45,224
47) Development Associate - Museum - $63,161
48) Retail Buyer - $47,804
49) Cashier Manager - Grocery - $46,295
50) Group Underwriter - $47,778
*My current position, even the low tops my pay
** Data found at Chicago Police recruitment website
1) Associate Pastor - $67,499
2) Bricklayer - $49,285
3) Custodial Manager - $48,829
4) Volunteer Coordinator - $42,745
5) Warehouse Supervisor - $55,868
6) Campus Recreation Director - $67,026
7) Assistant Coach Minor Sport - $41,505
8) Estimating Manager - $65,686
9) E/L Accountant - $ 45,329
10) E/L Architect - $42,684
11) E/L Budget Analyst - $52,674
12) Business Banking Development Officer - $60,042($52,385 low)*
13) Call Center Quality Analyst - $41,839
14) E/L Compensation Analyst - $54,292
15) Consumer Credit Analyst - $43,578
16) E/L Copy Writer - $44,602
17) Correctional Officer - $42,952
18) Chicago Police Officer - $58,896 (after 18 mths)**
19) Documentation Clerk - $40,287
20) E/L Electrician - $45,594
21) Employee Relocation Rep - $48,192
22) Field Auditor - $54,393
23) Financial Associate, Corporate - $61,042
24) Health and Safety Administrator - $59,494
25) Interior Designer - $41,044
26) Logistics Clerk - $42,407
27) Metallurgical Engineer - $58,608
28) Meter Reader - $45,306
29) Procedures Analyst - $49,327
30) Pipeline Technician - $62,788
31) Press Operator - $46,255
32) Recruiter - $45,987
33) Retail Store Management Trainee - $41,962
34) Sales Analyst - $49,707
35) SBA Business Development Officer - $74,340
36) Travel Clerk - $43,637
37) Fire Fighter - $44,053
38) Automobile Estimator - $43,045
39) Administrative Services Supervisor - $59,059
40) Archivist - $45,799
41) Campus Recruiter - $61,339
42) Executive Assistant - $53,248
43) Meeting/Event Assistant - $47,021
44) Translator - $48,571
45) Actor - $53,257
46) Broadcast Technician - $45,224
47) Development Associate - Museum - $63,161
48) Retail Buyer - $47,804
49) Cashier Manager - Grocery - $46,295
50) Group Underwriter - $47,778
*My current position, even the low tops my pay
** Data found at Chicago Police recruitment website
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
on a lighter note...
The 10 Things I Love About Baseball.
(in order from least to greatest)
10) Small ball.
9) Closers.
8) It is never over until the final out is called.
7) Walk-off home runs.
6) Game winning bunts.
5) Old men in the bleachers making dollar bets on every pitch.
4) Runners getting thrown out from the warning track.
3) Entering the 7th inning with a perfect game.
2) All you need is a stick and a ball.
1) The smell of the park.
(in order from least to greatest)
10) Small ball.
9) Closers.
8) It is never over until the final out is called.
7) Walk-off home runs.
6) Game winning bunts.
5) Old men in the bleachers making dollar bets on every pitch.
4) Runners getting thrown out from the warning track.
3) Entering the 7th inning with a perfect game.
2) All you need is a stick and a ball.
1) The smell of the park.
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