She's Home

My wife is back. Yes on Monday night I frantically cleaned the apartment top to bottom. Scrubbed the floors, washed the windows, I even cleaned the toilet! Do you know what was one of the first things she said to me..."What is this spot on the sofa?!" Yes, there was a half inch square of dirt on the sofa where our dog slept one night.

Part of her being home is the return of some of my favorite television programming. Now, I know my life is nothing special. I fight and scrape for everything I have, why on earth would I want to watch a show about a bunch of 21 year olds who live in $900,000 homes and bitch and moan about he said, she said bull shit. I cannot believe that anyone in their right mind would even watch this!!!! No wonder we have Clinton Part Deux, Obama, and McCain as options for our next leader. Holy Shit, she went to the bar with his sister and Lauren was there and it ruined her night! But hey, she was trying to be the bigger person. So maybe there is some underlying life lesson here, maybe it is trying to teach us that the average person will never have the time between work and the real world to worry about what we think about each other's...like...ex-boyfriends or...like...if we can be in the same bar with her anymore. And maybe they are trying to educate the average person to what life is like when someone paid for all of your everything and you can drive an Escalade at 21. I am so much better now for being reminded that I can't buy groceries until Friday when we get paid.

NEXT, if anyone can explain this photo for me I would appreciate it.

I think it starts like this..."So, I was on my way to..."

I mean I have been in some messed up situations, like leaving for Sault Ste Marie, Michigan from Mt. Pleasant, Michigan at 11pm and needing to be in class at 9am the next day, BUT DAMN, a tux, sewing machine and a wrecked UPS truck...kind of reminds me of the night we tried to steal a 450 pound boulder that the school used as a barrier to keep us from parking on the sidewalk. When you've had a few root beers, it's more like 900 pounds, and your Saturn SL2, no Justin it won't pull it out no matter how hard we push. I don't know that I need to finish that story.

Oh My God!!!! Gas for $1.09!!! Oh, not what you noticed huh? Do you think they sent permission slips home for this class field trip? Obviously not a public school, my field trips were to the local market to learn how to do math and sex-ed class talked about the "changes in your body"...we didn't actually get to watch it happen for a dollar.

Quote of the Day: 36-24-36...only if she's 5'3" -Sir Mix A Lot

Beers dry, and I need to work in the morning. Goodnight.

Mojitos with Roger Moore

I've been kinda busy. Thanksgiving was cool. Carved me up a turkey. First time I did that. I like cutting stuff up, it was fun. In-laws were not as bad as I made it all out to be, but it was a relief to have them leave. The parade was cool, and frickin' COLD. Ya know, I never realized how big those balloons are until I was standing under them.

(I actually took this pic)

So Saturday night we went out to this kick ass bar called English a few blocks from home. Love this place, their slogany thingy is "Eat well, Drink better". It's in an old 3 story building not too far north of the river on LaSalle. They mix up some GREAT mojitos, and they make them the real way, not the cheesy mixer way. The place has like 21 huge LCD's on the walls and they were showing old Bond movies. Hardwood flooring, nice classy joint, can't believe they let me into places like that.


We were there with group of about 9 people and you'll never believe this one...we started playing drinking games. (nooo...really? drinking games?...at a bar?) Crazy huh? (is the sarcasm getting across? cause I really can never tell if it's obvious enough). But all BS aside, why is it that every time you play Quarters with a big group, about half way through the game "someone" just gets the urge to bounce a quarter into people's drinks when they're not looking. Everyone laughs, but no one feels it necessary to tell the person. And every time, they go to slam their beer everyone loses control. It never gets old, I could...I mean ONE could bounce a quarter into every glass on the table, and every time no one says a word until that coin bounced off a tooth and got spit across the room. Is it really that funny people? Come on, we ARE adults here.

You know what's even funnier...when you bounce one into your wife's drink and she gives you a dirty look and switches glasses with you.

Backtracking a bit here, the James Bond thing was cool. At first it was like, "um...yeah, I am watching 'A View to Kill' while bouncing quarters into shot glasses." But as things would have it, once you become intoxicated the special effects of "Moonraker" become "cutting edge" and "...really advanced for 1979."

At least no one said Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan make better Bond's than Daniel Craig and Sean Connery. We weren't THAT drunk.


So, I have a confession to make. I broke down. I gave in. I caved. I bought an argyle turtleneck sweater...for my dog. Yes, I am that guy. I put a sweater on my dog. Apparently the natural fur coat she comes with, yeah, not warm enough or something. Even worse, I described it to someone as "really cute". What the hell happened to me? Get drunk, watch sports, get in fights, smoke cigars, and never ever put clothing on a dog! Just good rules to live by. Get married...everything changes. At least Dakota is a real dog and not some rat on a leash like so many people 'round here have.

Alright, it's been real, but I need to get up in 5 hours so I can get a workout in before staring blankly at a computer, not sell anything.

Happy Bar Day!!!

On this, the busiest bar day of the year I have a dilemma. A big dilemma. My in-laws will be here in 5 hours, this includes my brother-in-law. He likes beer, I like beer, he likes bars, I like bars. My wife, his sister, wants to spend the evening cooking...together.

Do you see my dilemma yet...

I fully intend on partaking in the festivities at my local establishment with my brother-in-law, while my wife cooks. This poses two real problems. One: she will be a little annoyed that we don't help and come home drunk at 3am. Two: she will be pissed that we come home drunk and hungry at 3am, and eat all the cheeseball.

But can you blame us? I have not seen the guy since early summer and her cheeseball is AWESOME!

Expect some late night drunken updates and notes on the cheesball.

(Disclaimer: I'm just kidding honey, I love you.)

6 hours later:
So this day cannot get any longer! I have been in the office since 7:30 and I have received 2 phone calls, made 42, and spoken to 5 people. The second I get the call from the in-laws I am outta here.

And of course, the boss was sitting next to me all day. All day, until 3 when he left. At least he is buying us lunch on Friday. WOW...that makes up for having to come in on the slowest day of the quarter. One hour, one more hour and I can start drinking.

Happy Bar Day!!! (or Thanksgiving Eve, which ever you prefer)

Football, Food, and Family

Go Green! Go White!

I'm going to get through this without mentioning Michigan's amazing performance Saturday (sorry Dauber)...

I would, however, like to mention Michigan State's 28 point second half. Even I doubted them for the better part of the game. (Manningham's Drops) This looks like the beginning of a new era in MSU football. In Dantonio's first year, he takes essentially the same team that went 4-8 (1-7 in BigTen) in 2006 and becomes (Chad Henne) bowl eligible for the first time since 2003.
I can't wait to see what kind of a recruiting class he can put together, and with big changes in Ann Arbor, 2008 just might be a great year for the Spartans.

Aside from the fact that 5 No.2 teams have fallen to unranked, what about the Top 5 this year. 10 top 5 teams have lost to unranked schools. And other than not getting eaten by Mangino, what has Kansas (Mike Hart 44 yards) really done this year? Missouri will be their first real game. Undefeated or not, they played Central Mich, Southeastern Louisiana, Toledo, Florida International, and Baylor. They didn't even have Oklahoma (91 net yards) on their schedule. Give them Kentucky's schedule and see where they are. Yeah, sure, they played well, but come on.

All joking aside, Lloyd was a great coach, 121-40(81-23 in Conference), 5 BigTen championships, a national championship, 13 seasons in Maize and Blue. May not be as loved as Schembechler, but a great coach none the less. Big shoes to fill.

Turkey Time...

So, thanksgiving is only a few days away, and somehow I got roped in to hosting it at our place. Not only are we having dinner...the in-laws are staying here, with us, in our tiny apartment. 5 people and a dog, for a week. And everyone keeps asking why I didn't take the Friday after off. 2 and 2, come on now, put 'em together.

At least this year we are going to have an important Lions/Packers game. After the loss to the Giants on Sunday, Detroit needs this one. The cheese heads are HOT and Favre looks as good as ever. Love to see Kitna and the boys step up and take this one.

By the way, turkey, yeah...not cheap. We spent half of our monthly grocery budget on one meal. One. One meal. For the rest of November we have been eating rice and bread. While I understand the best part of the meal is the left overs, but do we really need 3 pounds of bird per person? Plus the yams, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the pies, the other pies, and all the booze. ONE MEAL!

My rum and coke is empty, gotta go...