The Rubik's Cube...

Before I throw the damn thing, you can buy a Detroit Tigers Rubik's Cube at http://www.rubiks.com/

NOW, about beating the cube. I don't get it. One side is all I want, ONE SIDE! Is that too much to ask? I've had it for 3 days and I still have not finished one damn side. So now I sit here and stare at my cube, 8 of 9 orange squares all together. The lone square, just hangin' out 3 squares down, 2 squares over. Why God, why!!!

On to something else.

Um, uh, well...something else...hmmm...

Have you seen the Transformers movie? Wow, I mean how cool was that. For those of us that grew up pretending to be StarScream or Optimus Prime, how F'n cool was that flick. Especially that scene when Sam Witwicky takes the Cube and runs with it. D'oh!!

Something else...OH!

So I went out to a meeting today at the AON Center ...

(for those that do not know Chicago here is what Wikipedia says about it, "The Aon Center (200 East Randolph Street) is a modern skyscraper in Chicago designed by architect Edward Durell Stone and completed in 1973 as the Standard Oil Building.[1] With 83 floors and a height of 346 m (1,136 ft), it is the second tallest building in Chicago, surpassed in height only by the Sears Tower. It is the third tallest in the United States behind the Empire State Building and the 15th tallest in the world. The building is managed by Jones Lang LaSalle." And from my office to the AON is about 3/4 mile.)

As it just so happens it is also at the north end of Millennium Park. As I was trudging through the ice, slush and snow, I walked past a mime. Yes, a mime. Watching a mime is like a fat lady strip show...as bad as it is, you can't take your eyes off of it. So he's doing that one bit, where he is like trapped inside that thing, you know, and it keeps getting smaller and smaller. It's like he's stuck inside a cube and its...DAMN IT!!!!!!

Hmmm...what can I talk about that will get me off the Rubik's Cube?

27, I am 27 years old. My 23 year old neighbors make fun of me because I can't "Stay out 'till 430AM..." anymore. Seriously, do you just wake up one day and your body can no longer stay up late? I mean why didn't anyone tell me what day that would be, I would have gone on a week long bender just to make up for the fact that I would never be drinking when the sun rose ever again.

But really, is 27 that old? Here I go with the retro crap again.

Oh the events of MCMLXXX, all of which celebrated their 27th anniversary in 2007...

1. The Winter Olympics in Lake Placid, New York.



2. Bon Scott dies of alcohol poisoning 5 months before the release of "Back in Black".



3. The Americans beat the Russians in the Olympic Hockey Semifinals.



4. Zimbabwe gains independence.



5. Richard Pryor burns himself while freebasing coke.



6. Ford releases a front wheel drive hatchback...cooool.



7. The Philadelphia Phillies win their first World Series EVER.



8. Kristin Shepard shot J.R. and Mark David Chapman shot John Lennon.



9. The world population hits 4,434,682,001 on September 1st, when I was born.



10. And 3X3X3 (or 27) equals the volume of the Rubik's Cube.

Mike! Pour me another. Goodnight every one.

Merry Christmas

a day late.

3,333,360

Or was is 6,131,940? Either way, both numbers mean the same thing...GET A JOB!!!!!


The best officially recorded score for Pac-Man was 3,333,360 (Billy Mitchell, 1999). Althought rumor has it that in 1982 Jeffery Yee received a letter from Ronald Reagan congratulating him for scoring 6,131,940. Apparantly, not that I will ever know, the 256th level has a glitch...you can't see the right half of screen. If you arrive at this level will all your lives, collect all the stuff and then procede to die you will receive a maximum 3,333,360. But if you can some how beat this level, the following screens are normal and you can continue. (this problem was roughly explained by Styx when they sang "Too much time on my hands..."


I Found out today that you can buy a brand new DeLorean for $40,000. When the company closed it's doors in 1983 then moved all the remaining parts to a warehouse which has stared assembling and rebuilding them. I wonder if they can install a flux-capacitor, "it's what makes time travel possible!".


Sorry about the 80's kick. It comes on from time to time. I'll watch some "Back to the Future" and "Die Hard" tonight and get over it.

Mojitos with Roger Moore

I've been kinda busy. Thanksgiving was cool. Carved me up a turkey. First time I did that. I like cutting stuff up, it was fun. In-laws were not as bad as I made it all out to be, but it was a relief to have them leave. The parade was cool, and frickin' COLD. Ya know, I never realized how big those balloons are until I was standing under them.

(I actually took this pic)

So Saturday night we went out to this kick ass bar called English a few blocks from home. Love this place, their slogany thingy is "Eat well, Drink better". It's in an old 3 story building not too far north of the river on LaSalle. They mix up some GREAT mojitos, and they make them the real way, not the cheesy mixer way. The place has like 21 huge LCD's on the walls and they were showing old Bond movies. Hardwood flooring, nice classy joint, can't believe they let me into places like that.


We were there with group of about 9 people and you'll never believe this one...we started playing drinking games. (nooo...really? drinking games?...at a bar?) Crazy huh? (is the sarcasm getting across? cause I really can never tell if it's obvious enough). But all BS aside, why is it that every time you play Quarters with a big group, about half way through the game "someone" just gets the urge to bounce a quarter into people's drinks when they're not looking. Everyone laughs, but no one feels it necessary to tell the person. And every time, they go to slam their beer everyone loses control. It never gets old, I could...I mean ONE could bounce a quarter into every glass on the table, and every time no one says a word until that coin bounced off a tooth and got spit across the room. Is it really that funny people? Come on, we ARE adults here.

You know what's even funnier...when you bounce one into your wife's drink and she gives you a dirty look and switches glasses with you.

Backtracking a bit here, the James Bond thing was cool. At first it was like, "um...yeah, I am watching 'A View to Kill' while bouncing quarters into shot glasses." But as things would have it, once you become intoxicated the special effects of "Moonraker" become "cutting edge" and "...really advanced for 1979."

At least no one said Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan make better Bond's than Daniel Craig and Sean Connery. We weren't THAT drunk.


So, I have a confession to make. I broke down. I gave in. I caved. I bought an argyle turtleneck sweater...for my dog. Yes, I am that guy. I put a sweater on my dog. Apparently the natural fur coat she comes with, yeah, not warm enough or something. Even worse, I described it to someone as "really cute". What the hell happened to me? Get drunk, watch sports, get in fights, smoke cigars, and never ever put clothing on a dog! Just good rules to live by. Get married...everything changes. At least Dakota is a real dog and not some rat on a leash like so many people 'round here have.

Alright, it's been real, but I need to get up in 5 hours so I can get a workout in before staring blankly at a computer, not sell anything.

Happy Bar Day!!!

On this, the busiest bar day of the year I have a dilemma. A big dilemma. My in-laws will be here in 5 hours, this includes my brother-in-law. He likes beer, I like beer, he likes bars, I like bars. My wife, his sister, wants to spend the evening cooking...together.

Do you see my dilemma yet...

I fully intend on partaking in the festivities at my local establishment with my brother-in-law, while my wife cooks. This poses two real problems. One: she will be a little annoyed that we don't help and come home drunk at 3am. Two: she will be pissed that we come home drunk and hungry at 3am, and eat all the cheeseball.

But can you blame us? I have not seen the guy since early summer and her cheeseball is AWESOME!

Expect some late night drunken updates and notes on the cheesball.

(Disclaimer: I'm just kidding honey, I love you.)

6 hours later:
So this day cannot get any longer! I have been in the office since 7:30 and I have received 2 phone calls, made 42, and spoken to 5 people. The second I get the call from the in-laws I am outta here.

And of course, the boss was sitting next to me all day. All day, until 3 when he left. At least he is buying us lunch on Friday. WOW...that makes up for having to come in on the slowest day of the quarter. One hour, one more hour and I can start drinking.

Happy Bar Day!!! (or Thanksgiving Eve, which ever you prefer)

Football, Food, and Family

Go Green! Go White!

I'm going to get through this without mentioning Michigan's amazing performance Saturday (sorry Dauber)...

I would, however, like to mention Michigan State's 28 point second half. Even I doubted them for the better part of the game. (Manningham's Drops) This looks like the beginning of a new era in MSU football. In Dantonio's first year, he takes essentially the same team that went 4-8 (1-7 in BigTen) in 2006 and becomes (Chad Henne) bowl eligible for the first time since 2003.
I can't wait to see what kind of a recruiting class he can put together, and with big changes in Ann Arbor, 2008 just might be a great year for the Spartans.

Aside from the fact that 5 No.2 teams have fallen to unranked, what about the Top 5 this year. 10 top 5 teams have lost to unranked schools. And other than not getting eaten by Mangino, what has Kansas (Mike Hart 44 yards) really done this year? Missouri will be their first real game. Undefeated or not, they played Central Mich, Southeastern Louisiana, Toledo, Florida International, and Baylor. They didn't even have Oklahoma (91 net yards) on their schedule. Give them Kentucky's schedule and see where they are. Yeah, sure, they played well, but come on.

All joking aside, Lloyd was a great coach, 121-40(81-23 in Conference), 5 BigTen championships, a national championship, 13 seasons in Maize and Blue. May not be as loved as Schembechler, but a great coach none the less. Big shoes to fill.

Turkey Time...

So, thanksgiving is only a few days away, and somehow I got roped in to hosting it at our place. Not only are we having dinner...the in-laws are staying here, with us, in our tiny apartment. 5 people and a dog, for a week. And everyone keeps asking why I didn't take the Friday after off. 2 and 2, come on now, put 'em together.

At least this year we are going to have an important Lions/Packers game. After the loss to the Giants on Sunday, Detroit needs this one. The cheese heads are HOT and Favre looks as good as ever. Love to see Kitna and the boys step up and take this one.

By the way, turkey, yeah...not cheap. We spent half of our monthly grocery budget on one meal. One. One meal. For the rest of November we have been eating rice and bread. While I understand the best part of the meal is the left overs, but do we really need 3 pounds of bird per person? Plus the yams, the stuffing, the mashed potatoes, the pies, the other pies, and all the booze. ONE MEAL!

My rum and coke is empty, gotta go...

First time?

Yes this is my first time. So it will probably be short, and not very exciting but here it goes...


I WAS HIT BY A CAB THIS MORNING!!!!


Yes, one of the very courteous, safe, aware, and cautious cab drivers of the Windy City hit me. I'm only 5'10" 230 pounds, so I can understand how he didn't see me. The best part of the whole thing. He didn't stop. He was probably rockin' out to the 24 hours of Christmas music that started a week BEFORE Thanksgiving.


I can just see it...
"Have a holly jolly chris...OH SH*#."


Now for those of you who really don't care, he only got my arm with his sideview, and it didn't really hurt. BUT COME ON!

Monday's Preview

• Michigan v. Ohio State
• Thanksgiving Grocery Shopping
• And maybe some "Tales from the Bar"