The Brain Scanner!!!

When I woke up this morning, I thought to myself, “Self, it’s going to be a sunny day. Maybe not warm, but sunny.” Then I rolled over and looked at the clock with its bright evil red numbers glaring at me; almost in sync with my realization what the numbers meant, it began to scream! Loud, long shrieks of terror…I had hit snooze, twice.

I struggled to get out of the bed, stumbled to the kitchen and wolfed down a bowl of cereal as if I hadn’t eaten in months. I took the kind of shower I assume you take in prison; very quickly, clutching the soap for dear life. As I was running out the door it suddenly hit me that I had forgotten something; I paused and looked down the hall into my apartment. Standing there in the living room, her ears folded in, head held low and tail tucked up high beneath her hips. In my rush to get out the door, I had forgotten to take Dakota out for a walk and feed here. As I hesitated at the door, slowly her tail came out and it very cautiously began to wag. “Ok, I’ll take a cab to the office today. Let’s go, but just around the block.”

That’s how my day started. It’s gotten better. I found out that none of my loans will go through a formal audit by the FDIC (pure luck that has nothing to do with the quality of the credit facilities). I really have nothing exciting or interesting to write about today. I could go off on a rant about the people opposing the health care bill who have not proposed a viable alternative to the new law. And how you have a right to protest and oppose any bill or law, but you should be more than a squeaky wheel, be a part of the solution; educate yourself and come up with something. It’s like trying to go on a road trip with friends and one of them shoots down all your ideas, but never make any suggestions of their own. Or having that daily conversation with your significant other that goes like this: “Hey, did you want to go out for sushi tonight?” “No, not in the mood for sushi.” “Ok, what do you want?” “I don’t know; what about you?”; “Well…I want sushi.” “Yeah, not tonight.”

So, I got kind of bust and put this aside for a few. During that time I came up with something cool to write about! I have been given the responsibility of selling off a piece of collateral we had "returned" to us. ITS A BRAIN SCANNER!!! Well, not really. It's a surgical imaging devise that can be used in neurosurgery.

If you know anyone that needs it, I can work out a great price. It's functional and I've learned how to use it as evidenced by this photo:




That's me performing a lobotomy on my boss. Yeah, I know...I'm awesome!

But seriously, if you know someone that wants to buy this or the $350,000 of cell phone accessories I need to move, let me know!



Johnny 5 is alive!!