Stupid Awesome Movie Marathon

Yes, as usual I'm drunk. And I decided that this evening I would utilize said stupor to enjoy some of the classics. Movies from the 80's and 90's. The kind of movies you need to be intoxicated to full appreciate. So as I sit here finishing up the first flick, I'm gonna write my thoughts on each of them. So here we go...


Movie #1) Ghostbusters [1984]: So really, there's an invisible man sleeping in your bed? Fuck calling the Ghostbusters, I'm calling a real estate agent and a priest. I love this movie, Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, and Harold Ramis a bunch of Chicago guys and hot 1984 Sigourney Weaver!! I mean the time line of the movie is absurd, one day these no name scientist that are testing "ESP" on hot chicks and dorky guys see a ghost in the New York Public Library (have you been there? I think I saw one too) and suddenly invent a containment unit and proton packs to capture and store ghosts?? And really, what were they going to do with these ghosts once they were contained? Enslave them? Teach them to sit and stay and become the new pet fad? Oh and I need to say this, I would put Dana Barrett as Zuul right up there with Princess Leia in the slave costume. I mean really, something that hot can only result in one thing "Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!"
Of the millions of quotes I could list as the best I think this one really stands out: "We've been going about this all wrong. This Mr. Stay Puft's okay! He's a sailor, he's in New York; we get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble!"
Two things this move taught me: 1) When someone asks you if you're a god..SAY YES!!
2) Never cross the steams!

Movie #2) Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles [1990]: "Our heroes were in to pepperoni and cheese" Ok, pretty simple story, shit gets crazy in NYC and some mutant animals that learned karate from another freak animal solve the problem. First problem, April O'Neil is not hot at all, I mean really? It's 1990 and you can't come up with better than Judith Hoag? While you've got to respect the big hair, but come on someone at the casting company needs to get fired. HOWEVER...they are nearly redeemed by having chosen Corey Feldman as Donatello's voice. But hey, these guys were transformed from the norm by the nuclear goop. The reality of life would look more like this...



More death from nuclear poison and less super ninja mutations (I have this shirt by the way) than this...
"Then one day I came across a shattered glass jar, and four baby turtles."
"That was Us, hee hee"

Here's the deal, this movie was less of a comic book and more of a window into our culture. This was one of many movies (including Ghostbusters) that made NYC look like a dirty, unsafe city (which it was at the time). These guys lived in a sewer for crying out loud...just like the "giant crocs" people flushed during the exotic pet fad of the 90's (I had a pet turtle for 15 years). Pizza delivery was just becoming popular just like Japanese culture.

My favorite quote (again of the millions I could choose): "Looked like sort of a big turtle, in a trench coat; You're going to La Guardia right?"
What I learned from this movie: Four mutant creatures and a freak in a hockey mask is all it takes to clean up the streets!

Movie #3) Ferris Bueller's Day Off [1986]:Probably the best movie ever. This kid bull shits the entire city of Chicago just for a day, because he just doesn't want to go to school. Every kids dream. Not only does he skip school, but he breaks his girlfriend, Sloane, out of school, heads downtown, stares at Seurat’s “A Sunday Afternoon on the Island of La Grande Jatte,” leans against the window at the Sears Tower, sang Danke Schoen in a parade, had lunch at a swanky restaurant, and successfully evaded Ed Rooney, and beat his parents home. Every kids dream, period. How many times have I watched this and thought, "How fricking awesome is he!?!?!?!??!?!" Since moving to Chicago I have done pretty much everything they did, that is of course except sneak into a parade. However, I've come close to that as well.
Probably the best quote of all time:
What I learned from this timeless classic: If you're cool enough, you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT!
Best Quotes (couldn't just pick one):
"I am not going to sit on my ass as the events that affect me unfold to determine the course of my life. I'm going to take a stand. I'm going to defend it. Right or wrong, I'm going to defend it."
"Not that I condone fascism, or any -ism for that matter. -Ism's in my opinion are not good. A person should not believe in an -ism, he should believe in himself. I quote John Lennon, "I don't believe in Beatles, I just believe in me." Good point there. After all, he was the walrus. I could be the walrus. I'd still have to bum rides off people."
"The question isn't "what are we going to do," the question is "what aren't we going to do?"
I just love this flick!!

-JB